ONTARIO,CA- This past Wednesday, Canadians were shaken up by the bomb that was dropped on them. New statistics about obesity level hiking up all due to free liposuction that is covered by ontario health insurance plan. What’s the point of eating healthy when you can just get liposuction?

The Ontario prime minister, Kathleen Wynn enforced a new rule that anyone at any age can in fact get a liposuction. The only requirement is that you have to be overweight for your age for one year until the liposuction procedure is done. Canada, once known as the land of freedom and a great country, is now known as the land of free liposuction. Parents are struggling to keep up with their kids healthy now that kids at the age of 12 are getting liposuction. “My girls won’t even eat any greens and only munches on chips and unhealthy food because they know liposuction is always gonna be there for them. I, myself am going into the liposuction surgery tomorrow but that is no excuse for my 13 year old kids to think it’s okay to eat chips for breakfast, lunch and dinner.” says Alice Mund, mother of two.

“Omg i can’t believe my mommy is finally letting me get liposuction. I am so tired of being fat.” says Angela Daren, a 10 year o ld girl.

Canada is soon going to become the laughing stock of the world. It was not only last month, the Prime Minister Trudeau missed his meeting with the U.S President Trump, due to his daughter Ella-Grace Margaret Trudeau getting a liposuction. “Only in Canada is there a 9 year old girl getting liposuction. What a messed up country” laughs President Trump. But what really is to blame for this “messed up country”.

There has been many theories floating; but the most common among canadian researchers and theorologist is that this rise of obesity in Canada is the American government coming after Canada. “ the American government have been doing this to us for the better part of the twenty-first century. They ‘ve been manually playing with our