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How to Help Kids Cope with Disaster

How to Help Kids Cope with Disaster: Ten Tips

By Mark Shriver, Vice President and Managing Director of U.S. Programs for Save the Children

Kids learn how to be prepared in a disaster.

Frightening images of death and destruction, once again, are having an impact on children across the nation in the aftermath of devastating hurricanes and floods that have hit the United States over the past few months. Tens of thousands of children are caught up and deeply affected during and after these crises.

Concerned about the emotional well-being of their children, many parents, teachers, grandparents and caregivers are looking for advice on how to respond to children’s questions about upsetting events in the United States.

Children often ask the adults in their lives to explain what they are seeing and reassure them about what will happen next. They ask: Will everything be okay? Why is this happening? What will happen to the other children who have lost so much?

How To Respond to Children’s Questions

Save the Children prepared the following ten tips to help adults support children through times of crisis. The tips are based upon the organization’s many years of experience providing emotional support to children during natural disasters.

After 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and other U.S. emergencies, Save the Children’s expert teams on the ground used these tips effectively. They have been proven just as effective when used as a guide for other

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How to Help Kids Cope with Disaster

adults. The relevance of different tips may vary, depending on such factors as a child’s previous experience, age and where he or she lives. But as a tool, they offer a strong foundation for actively protecting and supporting children facing difficult issues.

1. Set age-appropriate limits on television. Watching television reports on disasters can overwhelm very young children. They may not understand that the tape of an event is being replayed, and instead think the disaster is happening over and over again. Overexposure to coverage of frightening events affects teenagers and adults as well.Age-appropriate television limits should be set both for you and your children.

2. Listen to your children carefully. Before responding, get a clear picture of what it is that they understand and what is leading to their questions. Emotional stress results in part when a child cannot give meaning to dangerous experiences.Find out what the child understands about what has happened. A child’s knowledge will be determined by age and previous exposure to such events. Begin a dialogue to help the child gain a basic understanding that is age-appropriate and responds to the child’s underlying concerns.

3. Give children reassurance and psychological first-aid. Assure them about all that is being done to protect children who have been directly affected by this crisis. Take this opportunity to let them know that if any emergency or crisis should occur, your primary concern will be their safety.Make sure they know they are being protected.

4. Be alert for significant changes. Parents should be alert to any significant changes in sleeping patterns, eating habits, concentration, wide emotional swings or frequent physical complaints without apparent illness. If present, these will likely subside within a short time. If the changes are prolonged, however, we encourage you to seek professional support and counseling. For children directly affected by a crisis — such as children who have lost a loved one — parents should consult a pediatrician or available health care provider, and consider counseling, not just for the child, but for the entire family. It may be an important preventative measure. For many other children, even if they are not directly affected by a crisis, they too can be affected by the images they see and stories they hear.

5. Expect the unexpected. Not every child will experience these events in the same way. As children develop, their intellectual, physical and emotional capacities change. Younger children will depend largely on their parents to interpret events, while older children and teenagers will get information from a variety of sources, which may not be reliable. Understand that older teenagers, because of their greater capacity for understanding, may be more affected by these stories. While older teenagers seem to have more capacity to recover, they still need extra love, understanding and support to process these events.

6. Give your children extra time and attention. They need your close, personal involvement to comprehend that they are safe and secure. Talk, play and, most important, listen to them. Find time to engage in special activities for children of all ages. Read bedtime stories and sing songs to help younger children fall asleep.

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How to Help Kids Cope with Disaster

7. Be a model for your child. Your child will learn how to deal with these events by seeing how you deal with them. Base the amount of self-disclosure on the age and developmental level of each of your children. Explain your feelings but remember to do so calmly.

8. Watch your own behavior. Make a point of showing sensitivity toward those impacted by the disaster. This is an opportunity to teach your children that we all need to help each other.

9. Help your children return to normal activities. Children almost always benefit from activity, goal orientation and sociability. Ensure that your child’s school environment is returning to normal patterns. Once restored, most classroom time in school should not be spent discussing the crisis.

10. Encourage your older child to do volunteer work. Helping others can give your child a sense of control, security and empathy. In the midst of a crisis, adolescents and youth can emerge as active agents of positive change. Encourage your older children to help support local charities that assist children in need.

Mark Shriver serves as the Chairperson of the National Commission on Children and Disasters, a commission recently created by Congress to ensure that the needs of children are not overlooked in a major emergency.

Last Updated October 2008

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  • savethechildren.org
    • How to Help Kids Cope with Disaster
    • Helping Children After a Natural Disaster:

      Information for Parents and Teachers

      By Philip J. Lazarus, NCSP, Florida International University Shane R. Jimerson, NCSP, University of California, Santa Barbara Stephen E. Brock, NCSP, California State University, Sacramento Natural disasters can be especially traumatic for children and youth. Experiencing a dangerous or violent flood, storm, or earthquake is frightening even for adults, and the devastation to the familiar environment (i.e., home and community) can be long lasting and distressing. Often an entire community is impacted, further undermining a child’s sense of security and normalcy. These factors present a variety of unique issues and coping challenges, including issues associated with specific types of natural disasters, the need to relocate when home and/or community have been destroyed, the role of the family in lessening or exacerbating the trauma, emotional reactions, and coping techniques. Children look to the significant adults in their lives for guidance on how to manage their reactions after the immediate threat is over. Parents, teachers, and other caregivers can help children and youth cope in the aftermath of a natural disaster by remaining calm and reassuring children that they will be all right. Immediate response efforts should emphasize teaching effective coping strategies, fostering supportive relationships, and helping children understand their reactions. Schools can help play an important role is in this process by providing a stable and familiar environment. Through the support of caring adults school personnel can help children return to normal activities and routines (to the extent possible), and provide an opportunity to transform a frightening event into a learning experience. Issues Associated With Specific Disasters Hurricanes. Usually hurricanes are predicted days to weeks in advance, giving communities time to prepare. These predictions give families time to gather supplies and prepare. At the same time, however, these activities may generate fear and anxiety. Although communities can be made aware of potential danger, there is always uncertainty about the exact location of where the hurricane will impact. When a hurricane strikes, victims experience intense thunder, rain, lightning, and wind. Consequently, startle reactions to sounds may be acute in the months that follow. Among a few children subsequent storms may trigger panic reactions. Immediate reactions to hurricanes can include emotional and physical exhaustion. In some instances children may experience survivor guilt (e.g., that they were not harmed, while others were injured or killed). Earthquakes. Aftershocks differentiate earthquakes from other natural disasters. Since there is no clearly defined endpoint, the disruptions caused by continued tremors may increase psychological

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      distress. Unlike other natural disasters (e.g., hurricanes and certain types of floods), earthquakes occur with virtually no warning. This fact limits the ability of disaster victims to make the psychological adjustments that can facilitate coping. This relative lack of predictability also significantly lessens feelings of control. While one can climb to higher ground during a flood, or install storm shutters before a hurricane, there is usually no advance warning or immediate preparation with earthquakes. Survivors may have to cope with reminders of the destruction (e.g., sounds of explosions, and the rumbling of aftershocks; smells of toxic fumes and smoke; and tastes of soot, rubber, and smoke).

      Tornadoes. Like earthquakes, tornadoes can bring mass destruction in a matter of minutes, and individuals typically have little time to prepare. Confusion and frustration often follow. Similar to a hurricane, people experience sensations during tornadoes that may generate coping challenges. It can be difficult to cope with the sights and smells of destruction. Given the capricious nature of tornadoes, survivor guilt has been observed to be an especially common coping challenge. For instance, some children may express guilt that they still have a house to live in while their friend next door does not.

      Floods. These events are one of the most common natural disasters. Flash floods are the most dangerous as they occur without warning; move at intense speeds; and can tear out trees, destroy roads and bridges, and wreck buildings. In cases of dam failure the water can be especially destructive. Sensations that may generate coping challenges include desolation of the landscape, the smell of sludge and sodden property, coldness and wetness, and vast amounts of mud. Most floods do not recede overnight, and many residents have to wait days or weeks before they can begin the cleanup.

      Recovery Can Take Time Although the natural disasters may only last a short period, survivors can be involved with the disaster aftermath for months or even years. Collaboration between the school crisis response team and an assortment of community, state, and federal organizations and agencies is necessary to respond to the many needs of children, families, and communities following a natural disaster. Families are often required to deal with multiple people and agencies (e.g., insurance adjustors, contractors, electricians, roofers, the Red Cross, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), and the Salvation Army). Healing in the aftermath of a natural disaster takes time; however, advanced preparation and immediate response will facilitate subsequent coping and healing. Possible Reactions of Children and Youth to Natural Disasters The severity of children’s reactions will depend on their specific risk factors. These include exposure to the actual event, personal injury or loss of a loved one, level of parental support, dislocation from their home or community, the level of physical destruction, and pre-existing risks, such as a previous traumatic experience or mental illness. Adults should contact a professional if children exhibit significant changes in behavior or any of the following symptoms over an extended period of time.

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      • Preschoolers—thumb sucking, bedwetting, clinging to parents, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, fear of the dark, regression in behavior, and withdrawal from friends and routines.

      • Elementary School Children—irritability, aggressiveness, clinginess, nightmares, school avoidance, poor concentration, and withdrawal from activities and friends.

      • Adolescents—sleeping and eating disturbances, agitation, increase in conflicts, physical complaints, delinquent behavior, and poor concentration.

      A minority of children may be at risk of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Symptoms can include those listed above as well as re-experiencing the disaster during play and/or dreams; anticipating or feeling that the disaster is happening again; avoiding reminders of the disaster; general numbness to emotional topics; and increased arousal symptoms such as inability to concentrate and startle reactions. Although rare, some adolescents may also be at increased risk of suicide if they suffer from serious mental health problems like PTSD or depression. Again, adults should seek professional mental health help for children exhibiting these symptoms. Immediately Following a Natural Disaster: Information for Parents and Teachers Remain calm and reassuring. Children take their cues from you, especially young children. Acknowledge the loss or destruction, but emphasize the community’s efforts to cleanup and rebuild. To the extent it is possible to do so, assure them that family and friends will take care of them and that life will return to normal. Acknowledge and normalize their feelings. Allow children to discuss their feelings and concerns, and address any questions they may have regarding the event. Listen and empathize. An empathetic listener is very important. Let them know that their reactions are normal and expected. Encourage children to talk about disaster-related events. Children need an opportunity to discuss their experiences in a safe, accepting environment. Provide activities that enable children to discuss their experiences. This may include a range of methods (both verbal and nonverbal) and incorporate varying projects (e.g., drawing, stories, music, drama, audio and video recording). Seek the help of the school psychologist, counselor, or social worker if you need help with ideas or managing the conversation.

      Promote positive coping and problem-solving skills. Activities should teach children how to apply problem-solving skills to disaster-related stressors. Encourage children to develop realistic and positive methods of coping that increase their ability to manage their anxiety and to identify which strategies fit with each situation. Emphasize children’s resiliency. Focus on their competencies. Help children identify what they have done in the past that helped them cope when they were frightened or upset. Bring their attention to other communities that have experienced natural disasters and recovered (e.g., Miami, FL and Charleston, SC).

      Strengthen children’s friendship and peer support. Children with strong emotional support from others are better able to cope with adversity. Children’s relationships with peers can provide suggestions for how to cope and can help decrease isolation. In many disaster situations, friendships may be disrupted because of family relocations. In some cases, parents may be less available to provide support to their children because of their own distress and feelings of being overwhelmed.

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      Activities such as asking children to work cooperatively in small groups can help children strengthen supportive relationships with their peers. Take care of your own needs. Take time for yourself and try to deal with your own reactions to the situation as fully as possible. You will be better able to help your children if you are coping well. If you are anxious or upset, your children are more likely to feel the same way. Talk to other adults such as family, friends, faith leaders, or counselors. It is important not to dwell on your fears or anxiety by yourself. Sharing feelings with others often makes people feel more connected and secure. Take care of your physical health. Make time, however small, to do things you enjoy. Avoid using drugs or alcohol to feel better. Immediately Following a Natural Disaster: Specific Information for Schools Identify children and youth who are high risk and plan interventions. Risk factors are outlined in the above section on children’s reactions. Interventions may include classroom discussions, individual counseling, small group counseling, or family therapy. From classroom discussions, and by maintaining close contact with teachers and parents, the school crisis response team can help determine which students need counseling services. A mechanism also needs to be in place for self- referral and parent-referral of students. Provide time for students to discuss the disaster. Depending on the situation, teachers may be able to guide this discussion in class, or students can meet with the school psychologist or other mental health professional for a group crisis intervention. Classroom discussions help children to make some sense of the disaster. They also encourage students to develop effective means of coping, discover that their classmates share similar questions, and develop peer support networks. Teachers should not be expected to conduct such discussions if children are severely impacted or if they themselves are distressed. Allow time for staff to discuss their feelings and share their experiences. Members of your crisis team should also have the opportunity to receive support from a trained mental health professional. Providing crisis intervention is emotionally draining and caregivers will need an opportunity to process their crisis response. This could include teachers and other school staff if they have been serving as crisis caregivers for students. Secure additional mental health support. Although many caregivers are often willing to provide support during the immediate aftermath of a natural disaster, long-term services may be lacking. School mental health professionals can help provide and coordinate mental health services, but it is important to connect with community resources as well in order to provide such long-term assistance. Ideally these relationships would be established in advance. Helping Children Adjust to Relocation After a Natural Disaster The frequent need to relocate after a disaster creates unique coping challenges. It may contribute to the social, environmental, and psychological stress experienced by children and their families. Children will be most impacted by the reactions of their parents and other family members, the duration of the relocation, their natural coping style and emotional reactivity, and their ability to

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      stay connected with friends and other familiar people and activities. To the extent possible parents and other caregivers should:

      • Provide opportunities for children to see friends. • Bring personal items that the child values when staying in temporary housing. • Establish some daily routines so that the child is able to have a sense of what to expect

      (including returning to school as soon as possible). • Provide opportunities for children to share their ideas and listen carefully to their concerns

      or fears. • Be sensitive to the disruption that relocation may cause and be responsive to the child’s

      needs. • Consider the developmental level and unique experiences of each child; it is important to

      remember that as children vary, so will their responses to the disruption of relocation, In addition, school personnel should:

      • Determine the status of every child in the school. Contact each child who is absent and keep a record. Identify the needs of children whose home was destroyed or damaged.

      • Find out the phone numbers and addresses of every student that had to relocate. Encourage classmates to write notes or make phone calls.

      • Develop an advisory committee of students to report back to school staff about what resources and changes in routines will help students cope.

      • Listen to and observe students’ behavior. It takes time for children to understand and adjust to disasters. It is perfectly normal for them to discuss the event over and over again. Provide opportunities for children to discuss how they are coping. Use creative arts (e.g., drama, art, music, photography) to help them express their emotions.

      • Help connect families to community resources. Bring agencies into the school that can deal with needs related to housing, finances, and insurance. Ensure that children get any necessary medical and emotional assistance.

      • Increase staffing for before and after school care. If possible, extend the service for additional hours and even on weekends.

      • Incorporate information about the disaster into related subject areas, as appropriate. Science, math, history, and language arts are especially relevant.

      Adapted from Lazarus, P. J., & Jimerson, S. R., Brock, S. E. (2002). Natural Disasters. In S. E. Brock, P. J. Lazarus, & S. R. Jimerson (Eds.), Best Practices in School Crisis Prevention and Intervention (pp. 435-450), Bethesda, MD: National Association of School Psychologists and other crisis information posted on the NASP website at www.nasponline.org. ©2003, National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway #402, Bethesda, MD 20814

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      • Issues Associated With Specific Disasters
                    • Possible Reactions of Children and Youth to Natural Disasters
                    • Immediately Following a Natural Disaster: Information for Parents and Teachers
          • Encourage children to talk about disaster-related events. Children need an opportunity to discuss their experiences in a safe, accepting environment. Provide activities that enable children to discuss their experiences. This may include a range of metho
                • Promote positive coping and problem-solving skills. Activities should teach children how to apply problem-solving skills to disaster-related stressors. Encourage children to develop realistic and positive methods of coping that increase their ability to
                • Strengthen children’s friendship and peer support
                    • Immediately Following a Natural Disaster: Specific Information for Schools
              • Identify children and youth who are high risk and
              • Provide time for students to discuss the disaster. Depending on the situation, teachers may be able to guide this discussion in class, or students can meet with the school psychologist or other mental health professional for a group crisis intervention.
                    • Helping Children Adjust to Relocation After a Natural Disaster

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