Effective leaders seem to rise to the top, no matter the organization. David Novak represents a prime example. His career path includes stops as Chief Operating Officer (COO) at PepsiCo, President of KFC, and his position as CEO of Yum! Brands, which includes KFC, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell. Novak, who stepped down at the close of 2014, had the responsibility of directing 1.5 million employees in more than 40,000 locations worldwide (Kruse, 2014).
Novak’s career provides a tribute to the effectiveness of quality interpersonal skills. He teaches leadership courses each year and constantly refers to three key lessons. These instructions begin with “Put people first.” “When you think about what you need to get done in your com- pany, you know you can’t get it done by yourself,” Novak said. “There is no way you can get something done without taking people with you.” He continues, “If you get your people capa- bility right first . . . and continue to make it your first priority . . . I guarantee you the results will follow” (Kruse, 2014, para. 3, 5).
The second lesson Novak teaches is “Constantly recognize achievers.” During his time at KFC, Novak acknowledged the accomplishments of employees in an unusual fashion. When an employee merited special attention, Novak gave the individual a signed, numbered rubber chicken—along with a $100 on-the-spot bonus. Then he would take a picture with the “floppy chicken” winner and put it in his office. Over time, the office walls and ceiling became covered in photos. He noted, “People love to come to my office and I want them to see what this busi- ness is all about. That’s people!” (Kruse, 2014, para. 9).
Finally, Novak suggests effective leaders are self-aware and constantly grow. One of his tactics involved writing annual notes indicating what he believed to be a personal strength and also an area that needs attention. In one note, his personal reminder was to be less intimidat- ing when someone offered a new idea or suggestion. Another exercise in self-awareness was titled “Hotshot Replacement Activity.” It involves imagining what would happen if your com- pany recruited a “hotshot” to take over your job. Novak suggests visualizing what that person (the “hotshot”) would do to make the company better. “Be that hotshot. Make it so nobody could do your job better than you.” Kruse (2014) writes that Novak summarizes his lessons by telling an audience that leadership is about moving “from Me to We.” And that “[l]ife is too short to not make yourself the best possible leader you can be” (para. 11–12).
Clearly people/interpersonal skills play a key role in personal accomplishments as well as the success of a company. This chapter examines the relationships between people skills and effective communication. The goal is to assist you in developing your personal inventory of leadership abilities.
5.1 The Importance of People Skills
It may seem self-evident to say that people skills constitute a key part of effective leadership. Remember, however, that such skills take many forms. In his classic study, Henry Mintzberg (1979) identified three primary roles played by top-level managers. Table 5.1 displays the categories.
Table 5.1: Roles played by top-level managers
Interpersonal
Figurehead Attend ribbon-cutting ceremony
Leader Encourage employees to send in suggestions
Liaison Coordinate activities with outside organizations
Informational
Monitor Seek out information about competition and governmental policies
Disseminator Send out memos outlining major decisions
Spokesperson Hold press conference
Decision Making
Entrepreneur Develop idea for new product and convince others of its merits
Disturbance handler Resolve dispute among two departments
Resource allocator Budget
Negotiator Sign a labor contract
Source: Based on Mintzberg, Henry (1979). The structuring of organizations. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
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Section 5.1 The Importance of People Skills
Introduction
Effective leaders seem to rise to the top, no matter the organization. David Novak represents a prime example. His career path includes stops as Chief Operating Officer (COO) at PepsiCo, President of KFC, and his position as CEO of Yum! Brands, which includes KFC, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell. Novak, who stepped down at the close of 2014, had the responsibility of directing 1.5 million employees in more than 40,000 locations worldwide (Kruse, 2014).
Novak’s career provides a tribute to the effectiveness of quality interpersonal skills. He teaches leadership courses each year and constantly refers to three key lessons. These instructions begin with “Put people first.” “When you think about what you need to get done in your com- pany, you know you can’t get it done by yourself,” Novak said. “There is no way you can get something done without taking people with you.” He continues, “If you get your people capa- bility right first . . . and continue to make it your first priority . . . I guarantee you the results will follow” (Kruse, 2014, para. 3, 5).
The second lesson Novak teaches is “Constantly recognize achievers.” During his time at KFC, Novak acknowledged the accomplishments of employees in an unusual fashion. When an employee merited special attention, Novak gave the individual a signed, numbered rubber chicken—along with a $100 on-the-spot bonus. Then he would take a picture with the “floppy chicken” winner and put it in his office. Over time, the office walls and ceiling became covered in photos. He noted, “People love to come to my office and I want them to see what this busi- ness is all about. That’s people!” (Kruse, 2014, para. 9).
Finally, Novak suggests effective leaders are self-aware and constantly grow. One of his tactics involved writing annual notes indicating what he believed to be a personal strength and also an area that needs attention. In one note, his personal reminder was to be less intimidat- ing when someone offered a new idea or suggestion. Another exercise in self-awareness was titled “Hotshot Replacement Activity.” It involves imagining what would happen if your com- pany recruited a “hotshot” to take over your job. Novak suggests visualizing what that person (the “hotshot”) would do to make the company better. “Be that hotshot. Make it so nobody could do your job better than you.” Kruse (2014) writes that Novak summarizes his lessons by telling an audience that leadership is about moving “from Me to We.” And that “[l]ife is too short to not make yourself the best possible leader you can be” (para. 11–12).
Clearly people/interpersonal skills play a key role in personal accomplishments as well as the success of a company. This chapter examines the relationships between people skills and effective communication. The goal is to assist you in developing your personal inventory of leadership abilities.
5.1 The Importance of People Skills
It may seem self-evident to say that people skills constitute a key part of effective leadership. Remember, however, that such skills take many forms. In his classic study, Henry Mintzberg (1979) identified three primary roles played by top-level managers. Table 5.1 displays the categories.
Table 5.1: Roles played by top-level managers
Interpersonal
Figurehead Attend ribbon-cutting ceremony
Leader Encourage employees to send in suggestions
Liaison Coordinate activities with outside organizations
Informational
Monitor Seek out information about competition and governmental policies
Disseminator Send out memos outlining major decisions
Spokesperson Hold press conference
Decision Making
Entrepreneur Develop idea for new product and convince others of its merits
Disturbance handler Resolve dispute among two departments
Resource allocator Budget
Negotiator Sign a labor contract
Source: Based on Mintzberg, Henry (1979). The structuring of organizations. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
People skills are a part of all three categories. Most of what leaders do involves such abilities. The interpersonal skills cited by Mintzberg involve providing vision, direction, and inspira- tion while being engaged in planning, organizing, directing, staffing, and controlling organi- zational activities through the deployment and utilization of people.
Notice that the second category in Table 5.1, the informational roles, emphasizes the utiliza- tion of quality communication skills. Working with boards, clients, investors, and other key stakeholders assists the leader in collecting information and disseminating it to the proper places in the organization. In other words, it requires people skills. Further, motivating, coaching, and developing people while resolving conflicts with some individuals and nego- tiating with others also demands what can be called “people skills.” The second half of this chapter concentrates on the vital role communication (informational) skills play in personal and organizational outcomes.
To further emphasize the importance of interpersonal or people skills, consider the following ideas. First, an individual’s level of career success may be determined in part by his or her interpersonal skills. Unfortunately, many leaders lack this talent. Assessment data collected on thousands of leaders worldwide indicates that most leaders did not possess the funda- mental interpersonal skills and behaviors required to be effective leaders (Frasch, 2013).
We can characterize many people skills as “humane” leadership. An article that appeared in Fast Company reported that many boards of directors increasingly look for CEOs with superb people skills in dealing with employees and stakeholders. The article also reported a study that concluded that leaders who inspire respect, loyalty, and affection achieved financial results of almost seven times the S&P 500 average over a 10-year period (Tischler, 2005).
Further, developing quality relationships tends to bring out the best in people. Several research efforts, and particularly ones conducted by Harvard University, point to the significant impact
war82476_05_c05_133-170.indd 137 3/3/16 11:33 AM
Benefits of a Civil Workplace
Improved organization performance and profits
Improved employee
productivity, morale,
engagement, satisfaction, and loyalty
Fewer time-consuming and expensive
personnel problems and EEO complaints
Lower turnover
Lower healthcare costs and stress related problems
Improved customer
satisfaction
Section 5.1 The Importance of People Skills
quality relationships have on people (Hallowell, 2002; Gilbert, 2006; Diener & Biswas-Diener, 2008; Heaphy & Dutton, 2003; Ryff & Singer, 2001). Quality relationships increase the probabil- ity of personal health, success, happiness, longevity, and motivation, and a lack of quality rela- tionships increases the probability of social, emotional, psychological, and physical problems. Such a finding should get the attention of those in leadership regarding the influence they are having on people and on creating a people-friendly or non-people-friendly work environment.
One could make a case that a strong relationship exists between emotional intelligence and interpersonal/people skills. Further, leaders who exhibit higher levels of emotional intelli- gence tend to be far more effective than others because it causes them to focus on interper- sonal awareness, one form of interpersonal/people skills. This in turn often predicts leader success (Goleman, 1995, 2000).
Leaders who exhibit a strong interest in interpersonal relationships tend to foster more people- oriented organizations. In those positive working environments, employees are likely to perform above the norm. Many studies reveal a linkage between people-oriented work environments and the ways individuals and organizations perform (Bagozzi, 2003: Dutton, 2003; Fredrickson, 2003; Dutton & Ragins, 2007). Further, a field of study called “civility in the workplace” has pro- duced research regarding the advantages of being a people-friendly organization. Civility means treating people with value and respect and having a positive social environment. In Figure 5.1 you can see some typical payoffs of having a people-oriented organization that creates a civil working environment (Karasek & Theorell, 1990; Pfeffer, 1998; Meterko & Mohr, 2005).
Figure 5.1: Civility in the workplace
There are many benefits of a civil workplace.
Benefits of a Civil Workplace
Improved organization performance and profits
Improved employee
productivity, morale,
engagement, satisfaction, and loyalty
Fewer time-consuming and expensive
personnel problems and EEO complaints
Lower turnover
Lower healthcare costs and stress related problems
Improved customer
satisfaction
war82476_05_c05_133-170.indd 138 3/3/16 11:33 AM
Decrease in employee
psychological well-being,
morale, engagement,
and satisfaction.
Increase in job withdrawal, work
exhaustion, counter- productive behaviors, supervisor problems,
and turnover.
Problems Associated with Incivility in the Workplace
Increase in taking out frustration on colleagues and
customers
Decreased organization performance, profits, and reputation
Decrease in employee productivity, quality of work, time spent at work, and
commitment to the organization
Increase in job related stress,
sick leave taken, and healthcare
costs
Section 5.1 The Importance of People Skills
Incivility is the extent to which employees experience disrespectful, rude, or condescending behavior from supervisors or coworkers. A study reported in the Harvard Business Review concluded that managers at Fortune 1000 firms spend the equivalent of 7 weeks a year deal- ing with the aftermath of incivility issues (Porath & Pearson, 2013). Figure 5.2 presents some of the costs associated with incivility in the workplace (Cortina, Magley Hunter, & Langout, 2001; Pearson & Porath, 2005; Gonthier, 2002).
Figure 5.2: Incivility in the workplace
There are many problems associated with incivility in the workplace.
Decrease in employee
psychological well-being,
morale, engagement,
and satisfaction.
Increase in job withdrawal, work
exhaustion, counter- productive behaviors, supervisor problems,
and turnover.
Problems Associated with Incivility in the Workplace
Increase in taking out frustration on colleagues and
customers
Decreased organization performance, profits, and reputation
Decrease in employee productivity, quality of work, time spent at work, and
commitment to the organization
Increase in job related stress,
sick leave taken, and healthcare
costs
Consequently, it seems apparent that people skills are important to being an effective leader both in terms of how the person acts and the type of organization that the individual builds. A leader without such a talent or orientation likely will discourage others from giving him or her helpful feedback that could result in needed personal or organizational changes. There- fore, leaders should recognize the value of having a people-oriented style and organizations should be encouraged to champion opportunities to educate and develop leaders with good people skills. The challenge is getting the attention of leaders who need to improve their interpersonal skills and build more people-oriented organizations. Then, communicating this information to leaders, potential leaders, and others constitutes a vital part of creating an effective leadership system. Or, as management guru Tom Peters once said, “Leaders don’t create more followers, they create more leaders.”
war82476_05_c05_133-170.indd 139 3/3/16 11:33 AM
Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
5.2 Developing People Skills
Opportunities for evaluating and improving interpersonal/people skills are not difficult to find. Even those who have exceptionally well-developed abilities may continue to practice and maintain the skills they have and to continue to develop new ones. Keep in mind the fol- lowing ways that you might develop or improve many of these skills: (1) recognizing the need or opportunity for development; (2) committing to developing the skill and planning how you can develop the skill; and (3) practicing the skill until it becomes a habit. Through concen- trated practice, you can develop many skills more quickly than you might think—often in a little as 3 to 4 weeks. Every leader should seek to improve his or her people skills.
In this section, we present two key activities you can use to improve your people skills and that you can also use to create a greater awareness of the interpersonal dynamics taking place: increasing personal commitment and concern for others combined with using an effec- tive problem-solving style.
Commitment and Concern for Others
People who hold a genuine concern for others demonstrate it by treating people with a high level of respect and value, showing a sincere interest in them, looking out for their best inter- ests, and being willing to make sacrifices for others. Genuine concern or love for others is more than a feeling. It is action that demonstrates our concern and love. Stephen Covey (1989) has noted that in all great literature, love is a verb and not a noun. Valued people almost always give their best.
Commitment and concern for others requires a leader to be reasonably selfless and humble. This frees the individual to focus on others rather than be preoccupied with his or her own needs. It also makes the leader more approachable and easier to interact with. Arrogant, ego- tistical, and prideful people who are consumed with themselves, with drawing attention to themselves, and with doing things their way on their terms will have difficulty demonstrating a genuine concern for others. In contrast, commitment and concern for others includes two elements: (1) treating people with respect and (2) valuing rather than devaluing followers and others.
Self-Reflection Questions
1. Can you provide specific tangible examples of a leader playing the interpersonal, informational, and decision-making roles outlined in Table 5.1? How would the activities of socializing with employees (“managing by wandering around”) and interacting with public officials and leaders of other companies at cocktail parties or on the golf course demonstrate these roles?
2. How would you distinguish between the concept of a leader being “tough” or “blunt” or “no-nonsense” with the concepts regarding civility and incivility presented in this section? Explain your answer.
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Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
Treating People With Respect Treating people with respect is at the heart of all people skills. In many ways, this skill covers all others. It is such a universally understood talent and principle that many organizations have adopted it as a core value. Some express it as “treating people with respect,” others as “treat people the way you want to be treated,” and others as “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
What is interesting about treating people with respect is that with rare exception almost everyone believes in this principle and most probably assume they practice it. And yet we wit- ness or experience disrespect of some kind almost every day. The challenge is to define what we mean by treating people with respect before we can claim that we practice it. You need to decide if a commitment to treating people with respect is conditional or unconditional. Conditional respect means that a person treats people with respect as long as they treat him or her that way. Unconditional respect means that an individual does his or her best to treat people with respect even when they are not being treated in the same way.
One of the best ways to identify what we mean by treating people with respect is to develop a list of words and phrases that describe respect and disrespect. As an example, Table 5.2 dis- plays a list of both sets of terms derived from a search of books, articles, and Google regarding what it means to treat people with respect. Considering both respect and disrespect adds a new perspective. We may think of ourselves as being more respectful than we truly are based on the disrespectful things we do.
Table 5.2: Respect and disrespect
Words and Phrases That Describe Treating People With Respect
Words and Phrases That Describe Treating People With Disrespect
Treating others the way you want to be treated Treating others in ways you would not want to be treated
Showing a genuine interest in others Being self-consumed and showing little interest in others
Making people feel valued Ignoring people or making them feel devalued
Being considerate, thoughtful, and kind Being inconsiderate, thoughtless, and unkind
Being diplomatic, polite, courteous, and tactful Disregarding how things are said or done
Speaking in ways that are helpful Speaking in ways that are harmful or inflammatory
Being genuine, straightforward, and truthful Being artificial, misleading, and a game-player
Encouraging open, two-way communication Doing things that discourage open, two-way communication
Actively listening to what others have to say Dominating conversations, interrupting, talking over people, not listening to others
Attacking problems and not people Making people feel attacked
Valuing and seeking the ideas of others Showing little interest in the ideas of others
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Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
In essence, Table 5.2 displays ideas you can both evaluate and develop. How often do you fall into the trap of reverting to the behaviors and words shown as examples of disrespect? How frequently do you display the actions associated with showing respect for others? Simple ways to improve your level of respect shown to others begin with constantly thinking about the term “civility.” Being civil to others indicates a respect, even in the face of disagreement or conflict. Further, eliminating the uncivil behaviors shown in the figure indicates the desire to avoid negative actions that make you seem “smaller” due to the manner in which you treat others. Combining these two elements can lead to the quick development of highly visible and valuable interpersonal skills.
Maximizing Valuing and Minimizing Devaluing Like treating people with respect, the concept of maximizing valuing and minimizing devalu- ing is easy to remember and use in developing people skills. Valuing is the process of main- taining or enhancing the value of another person. When people feel valued, it increases the probability of quality communication, improved problem solving, cooperation, and rapport with others. Devaluing is the process of lowering the value of another person. Devaluing decreases the probability of success in the same areas.
Table 5.3 outlines typical devaluing behaviors and their potential consequences. It points out that there are natural consequences to devaluing people. Leaders who unintentionally or intentionally devalue people and their ideas and behaviors without considering the potential consequences of their approach may experience several negative consequences. They may be able to make points, win arguments, get their demeaning comments in, and show power over others, but in doing so they may cause breakdowns in communication and trust while damag- ing the motivational levels and morale of their followers.
Devaluing basically creates a lose/lose situation. The person engaged in devaluing loses because it lowers the probability that he or she will succeed. The leader will also have to deal with the negative aftermath of those actions. The recipients lose because of the personal damage to them and their relationships with the leader. Most of the studies cited earlier in the chapter regarding the favorable effects of positive behavior and valuing on performance, morale, and relationships, as well as improving psychological, emotional, and physical health, also report the unfavorable effects of negative behavior and devaluing.
One study that parallels the effects of valuing and devaluing describes people as positive ener- gizers or negative energizers (Baker, Cross, & Parker, 2003). Positive energizers are people who are optimistic, sensitive to the needs of others, trustworthy, unselfish, and uplifting to be around. They energize and motivate those who interact with them and enhance good rela- tionships. Negative energizers tend to be critical, self-focused, negative, pessimistic, insensi- tive to the needs of others, and untrustworthy. They deplete good feelings and enthusiasm, sap the strength of people, and leave others feeling exhausted and devalued.
Table 5.3: Devaluing
Devaluing Behaviors Typical Responses
Judging, condemning, advising, instructing, or mor- alizing from a critical position
Triggers almost all of the inappropriate responses described below and may get a critical response in return
Attacking people rather than problems Provokes anger, resentment, resistance, rebellion, and stubbornness
Being autocratic or intimidating Gets temporary results and may encourage defen- siveness and retaliation
Blaming, scapegoating, and belittling Encourages lying, rationalizing, and distortion of the truth
Using killer glances (put-down looks) Produces guilt and rage
Assuming motives (attributing motives to the acts of another person)
Stimulates feelings of helplessness and frustration
Explaining away the feelings or ideas of others Results in the suppression of ideas or feelings
Using value-loaded (emotionally charged) words of sarcasm
Increases the likelihood of overreactions or misinterpretations
Making absolute or exaggerated statements Undermines credibility and often results in people tuning you out
Overreacting to the words or actions of another person
Blows things out of proportion
Sending double messages (verbal and nonverbal messages are different)
Reduces the interaction to confusion, mindreading, and misinterpretations
Indifference Destroys self-confidence and frustrates needs for acceptance
Not listening Devalues self-worth and increases frustration
Nagging Creates resistance and hostility
Sidetracking Inhibits problem solving
Shotgunning (continuously putting down ideas) Blocks creativity and openness
Negativism Undermines morale
Interrogating Implies lack of trust and presumes guilt
Stereotyping Often results in inaccurate perceptions
Labeling Causes resentment and may produce self-fulfilling prophecies
Interrupting Results in frustration and clamming up
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Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
In essence, Table 5.2 displays ideas you can both evaluate and develop. How often do you fall into the trap of reverting to the behaviors and words shown as examples of disrespect? How frequently do you display the actions associated with showing respect for others? Simple ways to improve your level of respect shown to others begin with constantly thinking about the term “civility.” Being civil to others indicates a respect, even in the face of disagreement or conflict. Further, eliminating the uncivil behaviors shown in the figure indicates the desire to avoid negative actions that make you seem “smaller” due to the manner in which you treat others. Combining these two elements can lead to the quick development of highly visible and valuable interpersonal skills.
Maximizing Valuing and Minimizing Devaluing Like treating people with respect, the concept of maximizing valuing and minimizing devalu- ing is easy to remember and use in developing people skills. Valuing is the process of main- taining or enhancing the value of another person. When people feel valued, it increases the probability of quality communication, improved problem solving, cooperation, and rapport with others. Devaluing is the process of lowering the value of another person. Devaluing decreases the probability of success in the same areas.
Table 5.3 outlines typical devaluing behaviors and their potential consequences. It points out that there are natural consequences to devaluing people. Leaders who unintentionally or intentionally devalue people and their ideas and behaviors without considering the potential consequences of their approach may experience several negative consequences. They may be able to make points, win arguments, get their demeaning comments in, and show power over others, but in doing so they may cause breakdowns in communication and trust while damag- ing the motivational levels and morale of their followers.
Devaluing basically creates a lose/lose situation. The person engaged in devaluing loses because it lowers the probability that he or she will succeed. The leader will also have to deal with the negative aftermath of those actions. The recipients lose because of the personal damage to them and their relationships with the leader. Most of the studies cited earlier in the chapter regarding the favorable effects of positive behavior and valuing on performance, morale, and relationships, as well as improving psychological, emotional, and physical health, also report the unfavorable effects of negative behavior and devaluing.
One study that parallels the effects of valuing and devaluing describes people as positive ener- gizers or negative energizers (Baker, Cross, & Parker, 2003). Positive energizers are people who are optimistic, sensitive to the needs of others, trustworthy, unselfish, and uplifting to be around. They energize and motivate those who interact with them and enhance good rela- tionships. Negative energizers tend to be critical, self-focused, negative, pessimistic, insensi- tive to the needs of others, and untrustworthy. They deplete good feelings and enthusiasm, sap the strength of people, and leave others feeling exhausted and devalued.
Table 5.3: Devaluing
Devaluing Behaviors Typical Responses
Judging, condemning, advising, instructing, or mor- alizing from a critical position
Triggers almost all of the inappropriate responses described below and may get a critical response in return
Attacking people rather than problems Provokes anger, resentment, resistance, rebellion, and stubbornness
Being autocratic or intimidating Gets temporary results and may encourage defen- siveness and retaliation
Blaming, scapegoating, and belittling Encourages lying, rationalizing, and distortion of the truth
Using killer glances (put-down looks) Produces guilt and rage
Assuming motives (attributing motives to the acts of another person)
Stimulates feelings of helplessness and frustration
Explaining away the feelings or ideas of others Results in the suppression of ideas or feelings
Using value-loaded (emotionally charged) words of sarcasm
Increases the likelihood of overreactions or misinterpretations
Making absolute or exaggerated statements Undermines credibility and often results in people tuning you out
Overreacting to the words or actions of another person
Blows things out of proportion
Sending double messages (verbal and nonverbal messages are different)
Reduces the interaction to confusion, mindreading, and misinterpretations
Indifference Destroys self-confidence and frustrates needs for acceptance
Not listening Devalues self-worth and increases frustration
Nagging Creates resistance and hostility
Sidetracking Inhibits problem solving
Shotgunning (continuously putting down ideas) Blocks creativity and openness
Negativism Undermines morale
Interrogating Implies lack of trust and presumes guilt
Stereotyping Often results in inaccurate perceptions
Labeling Causes resentment and may produce self-fulfilling prophecies
Interrupting Results in frustration and clamming up
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Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
Table 5.4 provides a roadmap for evaluating and developing your own interpersonal skills. First, take a hard look at how you treat others. Would your actions indicate valuing or devalu- ing them? (Note this assessment only works if you are honest with yourself.) Further assess- ment can come from conversations with trusted colleagues. How do they see your interac- tions with others? If the preponderance of the evidence suggests you devalue those around you, there will be much work for you to do. The first action will be to reassess your attitudes toward others and then stop such negative actions.
The second half of the formula involves building on the positive. Table 5.4 displays typical behaviors that make people feel valued and the responses to the behaviors that are likely to result. There is no guarantee that people will always respond favorably when they are treated with value, but they are much more likely to do so. A considerable amount of research notes the benefits of positive relationships that emerge where people feel valued. In addition to increasing the probability of favorable interactions and increased productivity (Jehn & Shah, 1997; Buckingham & Clifton, 2001; Dutton, 2003; Lawler, 2003), healthy relationships over the long run can improve psychological, emotional, and physical health (Heaphy & Dutton, 2008; Ryff & Singer, 2001). Further, a number of studies indicate that treating people with value and building positive relationships creates a win/win situation for both the leader and the follower. In essence, while there can be significant benefits to those who are treated with value, the people who are doing the valuing often benefit the most (Brown & Brown, 2006; Brown, Nesse, Vinokur, & Smith, 2003; Grant, Dutton, & Russo, 2008). Valuing people increases their health and happiness and the probability that they will be successful in their endeavors.
Once again, you can begin by evaluating the percentage of time that your attitudes and actions suggest that you truly value others. Is it an occasional occurrence? Does it take place half of the time? Or can you truly state that you engage in these positive emotions and behaviors the majority of the time? In any case, you can work toward the kinds of habits that provide clear evidence that you do indeed value others, even when it is already a visible part of your per- sonality. As an example, consider the career of Jim Goodnight, a former academic who became a powerful business executive by emphasizing the value of his employees.
Table 5.4: Valuing
Valuing Behaviors Typical Responses
An attitude of genuine caring Establishes rapport and a willingness to communi- cate and frees people to be themselves, drop their defense mechanisms and facades, and express their real feelings
Active listening (demonstrating interest, drawing people out, being understanding, checking percep- tions, and exercising self-control)
Frees people to communicate, cooperate, and solve problems knowing that they have been heard and understood
Attacking problems, not people Keeps the focus on solving problems without getting sidetracked by attacking people
Leveling and confronting with caring (leveling and confronting from a position of genuine caring with no attempts to devalue another person)
Makes it possible to be direct, to level with people, and to talk about negative issues without being demeaning
Honesty designed to be helpful Frees people to listen without having to interpret what you are really saying
Trust (assuming the best about people whether they deserve it or not unless to do so would be foolish)
Increases the probability that a person will act trustworthy and frees people of the need to manipu- late and play games
Calmness, patience, and self-control Simmers an emotionally charged climate, allows people to calm down, and frees people to be more objective and less emotional
Assertiveness with caring (knowing and express- ing opinions, needs, and feelings in a caring and constructive way)
Increases the likelihood of need satisfaction and of making things happen
Reflecting feelings (constructively expressing your feelings or what you believe to be the feelings of others)
Helps put all parties involved in touch with their real feelings and allows them to continue com- municating knowing that their feelings have been expressed
Giving specific rather than general feedback Enables the communicators to deal with the real issues without having to rely on trying to interpret generalizations
Using descriptive rather than evaluative words (describing observations or feelings in a nonjudg- mental way rather than evaluating the goodness/ badness of what a person said or did)
Enables you to talk about issues without provoking defensiveness or overreactions in others
Using “I” messages (messages that describe how you feel or how something has affected you)
Allows you to express feelings and opinions without passing judgment on another person or making them responsible for your feelings
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Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
Table 5.4 provides a roadmap for evaluating and developing your own interpersonal skills. First, take a hard look at how you treat others. Would your actions indicate valuing or devalu- ing them? (Note this assessment only works if you are honest with yourself.) Further assess- ment can come from conversations with trusted colleagues. How do they see your interac- tions with others? If the preponderance of the evidence suggests you devalue those around you, there will be much work for you to do. The first action will be to reassess your attitudes toward others and then stop such negative actions.
The second half of the formula involves building on the positive. Table 5.4 displays typical behaviors that make people feel valued and the responses to the behaviors that are likely to result. There is no guarantee that people will always respond favorably when they are treated with value, but they are much more likely to do so. A considerable amount of research notes the benefits of positive relationships that emerge where people feel valued. In addition to increasing the probability of favorable interactions and increased productivity (Jehn & Shah, 1997; Buckingham & Clifton, 2001; Dutton, 2003; Lawler, 2003), healthy relationships over the long run can improve psychological, emotional, and physical health (Heaphy & Dutton, 2008; Ryff & Singer, 2001). Further, a number of studies indicate that treating people with value and building positive relationships creates a win/win situation for both the leader and the follower. In essence, while there can be significant benefits to those who are treated with value, the people who are doing the valuing often benefit the most (Brown & Brown, 2006; Brown, Nesse, Vinokur, & Smith, 2003; Grant, Dutton, & Russo, 2008). Valuing people increases their health and happiness and the probability that they will be successful in their endeavors.
Once again, you can begin by evaluating the percentage of time that your attitudes and actions suggest that you truly value others. Is it an occasional occurrence? Does it take place half of the time? Or can you truly state that you engage in these positive emotions and behaviors the majority of the time? In any case, you can work toward the kinds of habits that provide clear evidence that you do indeed value others, even when it is already a visible part of your per- sonality. As an example, consider the career of Jim Goodnight, a former academic who became a powerful business executive by emphasizing the value of his employees.
Table 5.4: Valuing
Valuing Behaviors Typical Responses
An attitude of genuine caring Establishes rapport and a willingness to communi- cate and frees people to be themselves, drop their defense mechanisms and facades, and express their real feelings
Active listening (demonstrating interest, drawing people out, being understanding, checking percep- tions, and exercising self-control)
Frees people to communicate, cooperate, and solve problems knowing that they have been heard and understood
Attacking problems, not people Keeps the focus on solving problems without getting sidetracked by attacking people
Leveling and confronting with caring (leveling and confronting from a position of genuine caring with no attempts to devalue another person)
Makes it possible to be direct, to level with people, and to talk about negative issues without being demeaning
Honesty designed to be helpful Frees people to listen without having to interpret what you are really saying
Trust (assuming the best about people whether they deserve it or not unless to do so would be foolish)
Increases the probability that a person will act trustworthy and frees people of the need to manipu- late and play games
Calmness, patience, and self-control Simmers an emotionally charged climate, allows people to calm down, and frees people to be more objective and less emotional
Assertiveness with caring (knowing and express- ing opinions, needs, and feelings in a caring and constructive way)
Increases the likelihood of need satisfaction and of making things happen
Reflecting feelings (constructively expressing your feelings or what you believe to be the feelings of others)
Helps put all parties involved in touch with their real feelings and allows them to continue com- municating knowing that their feelings have been expressed
Giving specific rather than general feedback Enables the communicators to deal with the real issues without having to rely on trying to interpret generalizations
Using descriptive rather than evaluative words (describing observations or feelings in a nonjudg- mental way rather than evaluating the goodness/ badness of what a person said or did)
Enables you to talk about issues without provoking defensiveness or overreactions in others
Using “I” messages (messages that describe how you feel or how something has affected you)
Allows you to express feelings and opinions without passing judgment on another person or making them responsible for your feelings
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Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
Jim Goodnight: Valuing Employees
“Treat employees like they make a difference and they will.” These words were spoken by Jim Goodnight, CEO of SAS, who has built an empire in the statistical analytics industry. Author Peter High (2014) argues that Jim Goodnight became one of the great technology entrepreneurs over the past 50 years. His approach involved an emphasis on data analytics as a business model, which led to the development of Statistical Analysis System (SAS) while he was an academic at North Carolina State. Pharmaceuticals companies have used SAS to analyze their drug development programs, banks have used it to assess credit card systems, and now many companies are using it to assess fraudulent activity and risk management.
High (2014) notes that SAS has a unique culture that has been lauded frequently and it is one that is considered a source of competitive advantage. How did that culture evolve over the years? Goodnight states, “Well . . . we were all coming from spending quite a few years working at universities when we founded SAS, so we were used to the idea of doing research, working long into the night sometimes to get stuff done. We were used to having healthcare paid for so when we had the university we just continued on. We needed to think differently in order to attract knowledge workers. They have to be treated well and respected or you won’t have them anymore” (High, 2014, para. 10).
Further, Goodnight suggests, “I think tech companies realize the importance of the people that work there and that they need to find ways to keep them happy but also keep them motivated, keep them innovating. To a programming person, someone who writes programs, the challenge of the job is the most important thing—I think money ranks second or third but challenging work is what everyone ranks first” (para. 11). His emphasis on valuing employees by understanding them and their unique needs has helped the company grow and thrive over many years.
Problem-Solving Skills
While people can be so interesting and enjoyable to deal with, they can also be difficult and challenging at times. There is no way to avoid the fact that in both our personal and profes- sional lives we will encounter people problems and conflicts. Most people would just as soon avoid both and are not well equipped or trained to skillfully handle either. And yet people have to make decisions, solve problems, and deal with issues and relationships where both parties may have different beliefs, goals, values, and priorities, as well as different perceptions of the issues and what and how things should be done. They may be competing against one another or there may be misunderstandings, performance problems, or outright disagree- ments among people. Researchers estimate that leaders and managers spend approximately 25% of their time dealing with people problems and conflicts (Thomas & Schmidt, 1976). They have also concluded that a leader’s skills in handling problems and conflicts is an impor- tant factor in his or her effectiveness (Mose & Wagner, 1978).
The style in which we solve problems with people is an essential part of our people skills. More than 30 years ago I began to study how people at work and in their personal lives approach problem solving. I discovered three consistent styles and began to document the common patterns associated with each style. The three styles include hardcore resister style, resister style, and problem-solver style.
Future leaders should be aware of these styles so they can train to develop effective problem- solving styles that get the best results and avoid reverting into the self-defeating styles that
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Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
produce unwanted consequences. In my studies of the three styles, I have found that most people have a dominant style that they are known for, but that at different times they may use all three styles. It is also not uncommon for people to use a different style in their professional life and personal life depending on the conditions in each setting and the incentive to use an appropriate style. For example, the healthier the work setting or personal setting, the more likely people are to use an effective problem-solving style. Also, people are often more ratio- nal and reasonable in their work life, as it would look bad to handle things the way they might in their personal life. As you study the three styles and examine characteristics that are most common to you, you can consciously begin to practice an effective style and avoid using inef- fective styles. We will begin with the most problematic approach: the hardcore resister style.
Hardcore Resister Style People are using a hardcore resister style when their actions undermine reasonable and ratio- nal problem solving and when they eliminate any alternatives but their own or those from oth- ers that they agree with (see Table 5.5). The ultimate goal in this style is their way or the high- way. Their perceptions of reality are the only perceptions that matter, and all reasoning that does not confirm their own does not count. Hardcore resisters tend to undermine any efforts to solve problems that don’t fit into their own agendas. They make sure that whatever you try that they don’t agree with will fail and then make you responsible for it when it doesn’t work. They rarely admit to mistakes or take responsibility for their actions or the damage they do to people, and they place the burden for change on others. They may aggressively resist problem solving by being combative, uncooperative, rebellious, or angry, or they may passively resist by being indifferent, manipulative, or agreeing on the surface but still doing things their way. They tend to carry grudges and make people pay if they do or say something they don’t like.
Table 5.5: Hardcore resister
You are in your hardcore resister style when your style undermines reasonable and rational problem solving and any alternatives but your own or those you agree with.
• Somewhat of a self-serving, know-it-all, my reality is the only reality, my way or the highway, attitude that discourages open two-way communications and collaborative problem solving
• Tends to undermine any solutions but his/her own and to make sure that whatever you try that doesn’t fit into his/her desires won’t work and then makes you responsible for things not working
• Can be charming and cooperative when self-interest is involved or there is agreement with the ideas of others
• Strong need to make known his/her opinions and feelings but shows little interest in the opinions and feelings of others
• Rarely admits mistakes or takes responsibility for problems, places the burden for change on others, makes others feel guilty or foolish for not agreeing with them, and is quick to blame and shift responsibility to others
• Resists aggressively by being combative, uncooperative, rebellious, or defiant, or passively by being indif- ferent or agreeable on the surface but still doing things his/her way
• Tends to carry grudges and eventually makes people pay if they do or say something he/she doesn’t like
• Unpredictable and sometimes volatile style keeps others off balance and overadapting to keep peace and avoid retaliation
• Style provokes, agitates, generates conflict, disharmony, and distrust and affects the performance and morale of others but is seldom challenged because of the fear of retaliation, temporary cooperation and charm, strong personal performance or technical skills, or support from a protector or support group
• Discounts, denies, rationalizes, reverses, or overreacts to feedback and therefore seldom receives or learns from feedback
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Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
Using a hardcore resister style keeps people off balance and constantly overadapting to keep peace and avoid retaliation. The style provokes, agitates, generates conflict and disharmony, and affects the performance and morale of others.
So why is this style tolerated at work and in our personal lives? One reason is that hardcore resisters may be skilled at being charming and cooperative as long as they are getting their way, want something, or need to act as if they are fine to keep people from getting too frus- trated with them. Also, they are often intelligent and skilled people. In fact, some make it all the way to the top. As a result of some things they do particularly well, we overlook the dam- age they do. They are also clever at making sure people know that there will be a price to pay if they are confronted with what they’re doing.
Unfortunately, those who use a hardcore resister style have a low probability of changing because people are reluctant to tell them the truth about their behaviors, and these individu- als are convinced that they are right. It is others who are the problem. They are also skilled at making others or circumstances responsible for their behavior. Another important reason they are reluctant to change is that the style works as long as they are protected from seeing the consequences. In other words, if you are able to get your way by manipulating, intimidat- ing, guilt tripping, or using a variety of other inappropriate means and you are able to deny or are protected from knowing the damage that you are causing, what is the incentive to change?
Resister Style People are using a resister style when their style creates obstacles to problem solving, becomes part of the problem, decreases the probability of effectively reasoning and dialoguing together, and increases the time required to solve problems (see Table 5.6). Resisters make problem solv- ing difficult. Whether intentional or not, resisters tend to focus more on raising problems than finding solutions. They are likely to play the devil’s advocate and sidetrack, confuse, complicate, or escalate the issues. They may resist aggressively by attacking people and not problems, over- reacting, and being dogmatic or argumentative, or they may resist passively by being unin- volved, not doing what they agreed to do, or resisting behind the scenes. They disavow feed- back, make excuses for their behavior, and are slow to learn from their mistakes.
Table 5.6: Resister style
You are in your resister style when your style creates obstacles to problem solving, becomes part of the problem, and decreases the probability of reasoning and dialoguing together and significantly increases the time required to solve problems.
• Sidetracks, confuses, complicates and escalates issues, and makes problem solving difficult
• Problem focused, resists and creates obstacles to problem solving, but may eventually become coopera- tive and open to reason if others persist
• Quick to point out problems but slow to offer reasonable solutions
• Tendency to take the opposite point of view, push his/her own point of view, get stubbornly locked into positions, weasel out of problems, make excuses, get defensive or angry, and shift responsibility to others
• Resists aggressively by attacking people and not problems, being dogmatic or argumentative, and playing the devil’s advocate, or passively by doing nothing, making promises and not keeping them, or resisting behind the scenes
• Resists feedback and becomes defensive or angry when confronted, thus minimizing feedback and the potential for learning
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Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
This style causes people to avoid addressing issues with the person exhibiting the character- istics and to recognize that any issue he or she is involved in will take a considerable amount of time to resolve or will go unresolved. The good news is that if you persist with a resister, the person may eventually become reasonable and cooperative.
Problem-Solver Style People are using a problem-solver style when their style facilitates problem solving and increases the probability of effectively reasoning together to reach the best conclusions (see Table 5.7). People who use a problem-solver style quickly establish good rapport and make clear by their words and actions that they are committed to being reasonable, rational, and solutions focused and are open to the opinions and ideas of others. They have effective inter- personal/people skills and analytic skills and can be counted on to be straightforward and honest and not play mind games or have hidden agendas. They are skilled at staying calm even if others overreact and at turning conflicts into problem solving. They can disagree, say no, and make tough decisions, but they do so by attacking problems and not people. They welcome and are open to feedback so they are able to continuously improve their skills. While this style does not assure a good response, it significantly increases the probability of a good response, and it can appreciably reduce the time required to address issues.
The goal for you will be to develop the problem-solver style. Doing so takes an honest assess- ment of your strengths and weaknesses in this area. Part of the style involves listening. There- fore, problem solving and effective communication goes hand in hand. In the next section an in-depth analysis of communication is presented as part of an overall program to help you develop stronger, more beneficial interpersonal/people skills.
Table 5.7: Problem-solver style
You are in your problem-solver style when your style facilitates problem solving and increases the probabil- ity of effectively reasoning together to reach the best conclusions.
• Quickly establishes good rapport and demonstrates willingness to be reasonable, rational, and open to ideas of others
• Solution focused, sticks to the issues, and persistently strives for the best solutions
• Willing to take responsibility for their part of the problem and doing what is right regardless of what oth- ers do
• Uses good people skills and analytic skills
• Straightforward, honest, no hidden agendas, and can be trusted to present information accurately and do what is right
• Willing to confront, level, offer constructive criticism, and make stands, but does so by attacking prob- lems and not people
• Stays calm and objective and maintains self-control during problem solving
• Peacemaker who is good at turning conflict into problem solving
• Welcomes and seeks honest feedback; teachable and eager to learn and improve
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Section 5.2 Developing People Skills
Dealing With People Problems and Conflicts Unresolved problems and conflicts can result in damaged and broken relationships, lingering aftereffects, reduced performance and morale, decreased cooperation, stress, political back- stabbing, and a host of other problems (Kilmann & Thomas, 1975; Thomas, 1976; Lussier & Achua, 2016). However, problems and conflicts handled effectively can have many benefits (Fisher & Ury, 1981; Hogg, Van Knippenberg, & Rast, 2012). They can bring people closer, create opportunities to address important issues, make new insights and solutions possible, motivate personal and organizational change, and add important new interpersonal and organizational skills. Therefore, it is helpful to think through your approach and the likely outcomes it will achieve. We’ll now discuss six typical approaches to handling people prob- lems and conflicts, including their probable long-term outcomes.
1. Win/Win. You are using a win/win approach when your goal is to reach the best solution for all involved given the reality of the situation. This involves making known through your words and actions your desire to cooperate, find the best solu- tion, and do what is right. This approach raises the possibility of successful resolu- tion, and even if it is not met with a reciprocal response, you will be doing your part to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. When win/win solutions are reached, the solutions are likely to last and the relationships strengthened or maintained.
2. Compromise. When there is a willingness to compromise on your part, the dialogue may be mature and helpful or even emotionally charged, but it makes it possible to reach a decision that, even if it isn’t the best solution, is an acceptable solution to those involved. Some compromise solutions are either good enough for all involved or are not that important and are therefore likely to last. Other compromises, how- ever, may leave people dissatisfied and distrusting of those involved.
3. Peaceful coexistence. You are using a peaceful-coexistence approach when your goal is to essentially agree to disagree and leave conflicts unresolved. This approach works acceptably for issues that are not very important. However, when it is simply a way of maintaining peace and avoiding conflicts, it often results in lasting tensions and the potential for major breakdowns in communications and relationships.
4. Mediation. This approach suggests that you are open to third-party involvement and mediation in resolving issues. Seeking the involvement of someone who is skilled at helping people resolve issues can work well if there is trust by all involved in the person or persons involved and in the skills and wisdom they have in help- ing people resolve their conflicts. It can add a perspective and reasonableness that the parties involved may not have. It is not likely to work if there is a distrust by any involved of whomever is serving as a facilitator or mediator or if there is disagree- ment with the solutions reached. Short-term solutions may be reached that never address the root causes of the situation and therefore don’t actually resolve the conflict.
5. Win/Lose. You are using a win/lose approach when your goal is to get your way at the expense of another or you have to make a decision that will be disadvantageous to another person. People use this style to get their way more than they care to admit. They have goals and agendas that are in conflict with others and the goal is to do everything possible to get what they want on their terms. While it is wise to look out for your best interest or the best interest of those for whom you are responsible, taking advantage of people creates a win/lose situation where one party is happy and the other is not. Making win/lose decisions because you have to and not simply
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Section 5.3 The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication
to get your way can be an appropriate way to make decisions at times. Tough deci- sions have to be made. Win/lose solutions, however, always run the risk of creating solutions that could backfire and unravel.
6. Lose/Lose. You are using a lose/lose approach when you undermine any efforts to find reasonable solutions. This approach is almost sure to escalate the conflict and make things worse rather than better for all involved. Lose/lose conflicts often have a multiplier effect that involves others in the conflict, thus spreading the consequences.
Self-Reflection Questions
1. Explain the difference between conditional and unconditional respect when you are in an argument with someone whom you know is completely wrong, based on indis- putable facts and not opinions. What behaviors and words would be most appropri- ate in that situation?
2. Explain how a leader who consistently devalues followers and others is actually “working against him/herself.”
3. Review Table 5.4. Take a hard look at how you treat others. Would your actions indi- cate valuing or devaluing them?
4. Explain the relationships between respect/disrespect and valuing/devaluing with the three styles of problem-solving presented in this section.
5.3 The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication
One of the most important interpersonal/people skills in business involves the effective use of communication. Communication and listening skills play critical roles in working with peo- ple and building relationships. Quality leaders establish open two-way communication, use words that encourage dialogue, and are skilled listeners who draw people out. They listen carefully to what others say and respond in ways that encourage helpful dialogue. A number of factors create barriers to effective communication. Using words and reactions that dis- courage open communication, talking more than you listen, dominating conversations, inter- rupting or talking over people, and doing things that indicate that you are more interested in being heard than hearing what others have to say discourages good communication and strains relationships.
We can define communication as the imparting or exchange of information and meaning between individuals or groups. It occurs through words, body language, written forms, elec- tronic forms, visual forms, and many other mediums. Communication can be interpersonal (person to person) or organizational (used by organizations to send messages internally or externally). As a basis for understanding and improving communication skills, the place to begin is by understanding the fundamentals of the communication process.
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NOISE Anything that confuses or
disrupts communication
Feedback What is the response
to the message?
Sender Communicator
Message What is
communicated?
Medium How is it
communicated?
Reciever Who is it
communicated to?
Section 5.3 The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication
A Communication Model
Researchers have developed a number of models to depict the communication process (Shan- non & Weaver, 1948; Ivancevich, Konopaske, & Matteson, 2001; Guffrey & Loewy, 2011). As you can see in Figure 5.3, the process basically consists of a sender delivering a message through some medium and a receiver interpreting and responding to the message, which results in feedback regarding the desirable or undesirable outcomes that occur. Being aware of each phase of this process can help leaders think through the dynamics taking place and possible ways to improve the communication process.
Figure 5.3: A model of communication
NOISE Anything that confuses or
disrupts communication
Feedback What is the response
to the message?
Sender Communicator
Message What is
communicated?
Medium How is it
communicated?
Reciever Who is it
communicated to?
The Sender The sender is the person or persons seeking to convey a message. Much of the communica- tion senders initiate is person-to-person in nature. The keys to quality interactions with oth- ers include people skills that encourage open, two-way communication and thinking before you speak. In a planned communication situation, the sender considers all aspects of the communication process—the message, the medium, the receiver or audience, how the mes- sage is interpreted, and feedback regarding the dynamics taking place. Failing to pay atten- tion to any of the steps in the process can result in misunderstandings and a breakdown
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Section 5.3 The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication
in communication. Tending to each component increases the odds that the receiver actually does receive the intended message and not something else.
Encoding the Message Encoding takes place as the sender forms the message. Encoding processes include the transmission of verbal and nonverbal cues. Verbal cues represent words that are spoken or written. Nonverbal cues include all other parts of message transmission, including gestures, facial expression, posture, physical distance from the receiver, eye contact, and other forms of body language. Some sources suggest that nonverbal messages often speak louder than the words themselves. A certain tone changes an insignificant set of words into sarcasm, disdain, and other more aggressive attitudes. Effective senders (leaders or speakers) remain acutely aware of every element of a message transmission, making sure the words match all other nonverbal cues.
The Transmission Medium A transmission device carries a message via sound waves, light waves, pieces of paper, mobile phone signals and screens, the Internet, computer monitors, billboards, radio and television signals, and through an endless number of additional carriers. Electronic transmissions go beyond text messages and emails. Technologies such as Skype allow for interpersonal meet- ings via televised images.
In today’s times, leaders enjoy a multi- tude of communication options. They can speak in person with individuals and groups. They can hold meetings or use many forms of written, visual, and technologically driven means such as virtual meeting technology, social media, and smartphones. The chal- lenge is to choose the right medium designed for the right audience and delivered in the right way.
The Receiver and Decoding The receiver is the sender’s intended audience and is either a single person or a group. Decoding occurs as the receiver encounters the message and tries to comprehend or interpret it. Decoding can involve every sensory device, including hearing, seeing, feeling, smelling, and tasting various cues. In a standard interpersonal interaction, sight and hearing are common sensory devices. Decoding involves interpretation of verbal and nonverbal cues, normally at the same time. This is where com- munication can become much more complex.
Receivers interpret or decode the message based on a number of things. What they hear or experience is based on the first three steps of the communication process such as who sent the message, what the message consisted of, and how it was sent. The receiver’s background,
Jupiterimages/Creatas/Thinkstock
The transmission medium of a message can include a digital device, such as a tablet computer.
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Section 5.3 The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication
geographical and cultural conditioning, experience, personality, ability to understand the message, interest in what is being communicated, and listening skills can all also influence what the receiver hears. With so many factors that could be influencing the message, leaders should not assume that just because they communicated something the receiver heard and understood it. Leaders consistently check to find out what others may be hearing.
Feedback Feedback returns to the sender in the form of evaluation of the message. The receiver trans- mits verbal and nonverbal cues that suggest, “I don’t understand,” “I disagree,” “You’re abso- lutely right,” “This is frustrating,” and other reactions to the sender, possibly including, “I’m not really listening.” Then, most of the time, the conversation continues. Feedback occurs that provides information based on the first four steps of the communication process.
For an observant sender, and especially one that encourages open, two-way communica- tion, feedback can be invaluable in discovering how the message is being received, what was understood or misunderstood, and in deciding what to do next. Leaders who are not aware of what is taking place or are only interested in one-way communication and getting their own message across will be oblivious to the feedback, misinterpret it, misuse it, or discourage it. This unfortunately happens all too often.
For example, a top-level leader may launch changes that have to be carried out throughout the company. The leader does not adequately communicate why the changes are important or solicit feedback on whether they make sense to others. Those who have to implement the changes know that the changes will be a waste of time and resources, but they do what they are told to do knowing that providing candid feedback on the changes would not be welcome. The leader will probably never know what a dismal failure the changes were. Encouraging, evaluating, and responding appropriately to feedback is an essential part of the communica- tion process.
Noise A variety of forces and factors can prevent accurate sending and receiving of messages. In Table 5.8, you can see the disruptions represented as noise, or barriers to communication. Noise is anything that can confuse or disrupt the communication process. Noise could include personal backgrounds, motives, agendas, perceptions, biases, experiences, stereotypes, or abilities to understand what is being communicated. It could also arise from time pressures that affect the way communication is delivered or processed. Physical settings often affect what receivers hear or don’t hear. Physical and mental limitations in the sender or receiver also create barriers to communication in the form of noise.
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Section 5.3 The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication
When people think of interpersonal communication, they usually think of words exchanged between two or more persons. Such is often not the case. Words may comprise only a small part of the message that is sent and received. As noted, Table 5.8 identifies some of the major barriers to interpersonal communication.
Barriers to Interpersonal Communication: Individual Differences
Many differences between the sender and the receiver in a communication setting can become disruptive. Much of the time, the two will differ in terms of a variety of key characteristics. Effective leaders can address and overcome each of these barriers.
Backgrounds of the Communicators A leader’s background can be advantageous or disadvantageous in an interaction. For exam- ple, credentials such as a college degree from a prestigious university could lend credibility to what you have to say. But if you have a reputation as a manipulator and a game player, people may not believe you even when you are telling the truth.
The education, position, gender, race, socioeconomic heritage, status, lifestyle, and reputation of the communicator may also affect the message. For instance, a person in a leadership posi- tion should be aware that the position itself may result in employees exaggerating what you say. They may interpret a casual comment about cutting costs as meaning imminent layoffs. They may interpret a frown as meaning “the boss doesn’t like me.”
Leaders and their followers are often of different ages, which can create a generation gap in conversations. Substantial evidence suggests that women and men communicate in different ways on the job, especially when one gender supervises the other. Exclusive language means using words and concepts known only to a select group (such as sports metaphors), thereby
Table 5.8: Barriers to interpersonal communication
Individual Differences Situational Factors Transmission Problems
Backgrounds of the communicators
Emotions, such as mood and tone Language
Attitudes Distractions Slang
Expectations of the communicators
Settings Technical terminology
Age Disability—sender
Gender Disability—receiver
Exclusive language Nonverbal contradictions
Educational level
Organizational rank
Personalities
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Section 5.3 The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication
excluding others (people who do not follow sports). Persons with low levels of education may have trouble following some conversations. Leaders at higher organizational rank are often intimidating to subordinates. At other times, the leader suffers from a lack of credibility. With- out trust between the leader and the follower, communication tends to be flawed. We tend to believe the messenger before we believe the message, which makes trust and credibility problems destructive to clear communication. Further, some people just do not get along, which means their personalities can get in the way. Big egos can cause political battles, turf wars, and the overzealous pursuit of power and resources. Egos influence how we treat each other and how receptive we are to being influenced by others.
An awareness of the potential effect of backgrounds can be helpful in both giving and receiv- ing messages. A leader in a high position may want to go out of his or her way to be friendly and approachable so people will be open and candid. It may also be important for a leader to be careful not to stereotype people based on their backgrounds, knowing that stereotyping can affect a leader’s objectivity in hearing what someone is saying.
Attitudes One key to successful communication involves maintaining an attitude that encourages open and supportive communication. Keep in mind that your attitude speaks louder than your actions or words. A condescending, contentious, or negative attitude makes it difficult to com- municate regardless of how brilliant or talented a person is. Further, it is important to be aware of your mood and tone when you speak to others, as things you say in the heat of the moment often come back to haunt you. An apparent negative and cynical attitude will likely interfere with what you are trying to communicate. On the other hand, if your attitude com- municates that you value and accept the person with whom you are communicating, com- munication is almost always possible. The major exception occurs when the other person is unwilling to communicate.
Expectations of the Communicators Expectations tend to create self-fulfilling prophecies. For example, if you expect a person not to value you, you will tend to read put-down messages in an interaction whether they are in fact there or not. Expectations can also result in disappointments if they are not fulfilled. Assume that you have been doing an excellent job and that you are expecting your boss to shower you with praise. If your boss doesn’t know how well you are doing or just assumes that you understand how proud he or she is of you, your expectation is not likely to be fulfilled and you may become dissatisfied.
It is helpful to be aware of your expectations and the role they play in communication. If you have an expectation that you are going to hold people accountable for, you should commu- nicate it or realize that others may not be aware of the expectation and did not intentionally overlook it. Leaders sometimes expect things of employees that they have never actually com- municated. If you have reason to believe that another person’s expectations of you are caus- ing a problem, make inquiries to try to identify the problem.
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Section 5.3 The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication
Barriers to Interpersonal Communication: Situational Factors
Numerous situational factors can derail an interaction with another person. It is also impor- tant to be aware of distractions, such as construction noise near an office meeting, which may prevent people from giving their full attention to the conversation. In addition, it is impor- tant to notice the timing of sensitive communications or announcements, especially when they involve layoffs and terminations, closing a location, or the death of an employee. In each of these scenarios, transmitting and receiving significant information becomes much more difficult.
The Setting If you have ever sat in front of an overpowering desk with a boss or authority figure behind it, or have had a boss conduct a performance appraisal with phones ringing and people coming in and out, you know how important the setting can be to an interaction. Room layout, size, decor, traffic flow, and noise can all affect communication.
Trying to communicate something important in a busy lunchroom or a public setting can be detrimental to an interaction. Leaders, for example, sometimes make the mistake of chastis- ing someone in front of other employees. They may hold meetings in a setting that discour- ages open communication or may even encourage dissension by putting one group on one side of the table and another group on the other side.
The setting may not contribute as much to the success or failure of an interaction as other parts of the message, but leaders should definitely take it into account. For example, when- ever possible, we should arrange and choose offices so that they will contribute to the desired communication goal and settings should be considered based on the type of interaction involved or desired.
Barriers to Interpersonal Communication: Transmission Problems
Language and slang can create confusing messages in domestic and international settings. Someone who is not versed in popular culture may not understand some current term, such as TIA (thanks in advance). Conversations become far more complex when two people who have different first languages attempt to communicate. Technical terminology includes the usage of terms specific to one’s vocation or occupation. Technical terms are used in many areas, including information technology, accounting, research and development, and others. Sender disabilities are mostly related to speech and speech impairments. Receiver disabilities include hearing and sight problems.
Nonverbal Contradictions Nonverbal contradictions occur when a person’s body language does not match the verbal message. Someone who says, “Yeah, that’s great work,” while looking disinterested and bored is not exactly sending a ringing endorsement, and the employee will pick up on the disconnect when a leader delivers information in this way.
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Section 5.3 The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication
It is important that leaders understand all of these components of the message so that they can purposely present a clear and consistent message. If you transmit incongruent verbal messages (words) and nonverbal messages (body language), you are sending confusing and conflicting messages.
For openers, the words that you choose are an important part of the message you are trying to com- municate. When selecting words, it is best to use understandable and supportive words and to avoid emotionally charged, criti- cal, judgmental, or crass words or profanity. It is also important to find the balance between commu- nicating enough to be understood and being concise enough to not overload people with too much information to process.
Next, remember that it is not so much what you say but how you say it that determines how the message is received (Pentland, 2008; Malandro & Barker, 1983). Leaders often do not realize how much their nonverbal communication influences the message. Some experts esti- mate that as much as 50% of the message can be nonverbal (Mehrabian, 1971). The com- munications model suggests that nonverbal messages include tone of voice, gestures, facial expressions, posture, eye contact, and other forms of body language.
Given the importance of the nonverbal aspects of communication, it is important for lead- ers to be aware of the nonverbal messages they may send. It can be helpful for a leader to solicit feedback from others on any nonverbal messages of which they may not be aware, or for a leader to stand in front of a mirror and try various expressions such as anger or looks of disgust to see what they look like to others. Leaders should also ensure that their verbal and nonverbal messages are consistent so that others are not left to decide which message they intended. For example, using compassionate words with a sarcastic tone of voice can be confusing.
A number of books explain how to read nonverbal expressions in others. For example, the folding of arms can mean shutting off communication. Remember, however, that it could also mean that a person is cold (literally) or more comfortable having his or her arms folded. As a group, nonverbal messages are referred as kinesic cues. Table 5.9 identifies many forms of these cues and interpretations of them.
Creatas Images/Thinkstock
What kinesic cues can you spot in this image?
Table 5.9: Kinesic cues and interpretations
Body Part Movement Interpretation
Hands Touching others, touching self, hand over mouth, hands on hips
Powerful, nervous, anxious, wishing to escape, challenging
Shoulders Leaning forward, leaning away, slouching
Interest, rapport, lack of interest, low self-esteem, skepticism
Arms Crossed Closed to ideas, bored
Head Nodding, tilting, downward movement
Agreement, listening, interest, defensive
Eyes Gazing, shifting, darting Attentive, honesty, uncertain, lying
Mouth Smile Enjoyment, pleasure
Source: Adapted from Pentland, A. (2008). Honest signals: How they shape our world. Boston: MIT press, pp. 10–40, 105; Malandro, L. A., & Barker, L. (1983). Nonverbal communication. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, pp. 226–230.
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Section 5.3 The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication
It is important that leaders understand all of these components of the message so that they can purposely present a clear and consistent message. If you transmit incongruent verbal messages (words) and nonverbal messages (body language), you are sending confusing and conflicting messages.
For openers, the words that you choose are an important part of the message you are trying to com- municate. When selecting words, it is best to use understandable and supportive words and to avoid emotionally charged, criti- cal, judgmental, or crass words or profanity. It is also important to find the balance between commu- nicating enough to be understood and being concise enough to not overload people with too much information to process.
Next, remember that it is not so much what you say but how you say it that determines how the message is received (Pentland, 2008; Malandro & Barker, 1983). Leaders often do not realize how much their nonverbal communication influences the message. Some experts esti- mate that as much as 50% of the message can be nonverbal (Mehrabian, 1971). The com- munications model suggests that nonverbal messages include tone of voice, gestures, facial expressions, posture, eye contact, and other forms of body language.
Given the importance of the nonverbal aspects of communication, it is important for lead- ers to be aware of the nonverbal messages they may send. It can be helpful for a leader to solicit feedback from others on any nonverbal messages of which they may not be aware, or for a leader to stand in front of a mirror and try various expressions such as anger or looks of disgust to see what they look like to others. Leaders should also ensure that their verbal and nonverbal messages are consistent so that others are not left to decide which message they intended. For example, using compassionate words with a sarcastic tone of voice can be confusing.
A number of books explain how to read nonverbal expressions in others. For example, the folding of arms can mean shutting off communication. Remember, however, that it could also mean that a person is cold (literally) or more comfortable having his or her arms folded. As a group, nonverbal messages are referred as kinesic cues. Table 5.9 identifies many forms of these cues and interpretations of them.
Creatas Images/Thinkstock
What kinesic cues can you spot in this image?
Table 5.9: Kinesic cues and interpretations
Body Part Movement Interpretation
Hands Touching others, touching self, hand over mouth, hands on hips
Powerful, nervous, anxious, wishing to escape, challenging
Shoulders Leaning forward, leaning away, slouching
Interest, rapport, lack of interest, low self-esteem, skepticism
Arms Crossed Closed to ideas, bored
Head Nodding, tilting, downward movement
Agreement, listening, interest, defensive
Eyes Gazing, shifting, darting Attentive, honesty, uncertain, lying
Mouth Smile Enjoyment, pleasure
Source: Adapted from Pentland, A. (2008). Honest signals: How they shape our world. Boston: MIT press, pp. 10–40, 105; Malandro, L. A., & Barker, L. (1983). Nonverbal communication. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, pp. 226–230.
Appearance as a Nonverbal Cue Clothing, hairstyle, shoes, adornments such as jewelry or pins, and even something you have in your hand, such as a cigarette or a drink, may affect how receivers will interpret what you say. Flashy clothes, for example, may cause some people to assume that you are a person with a big ego or a person they can’t trust. Dressing without concern for your appearance may communicate an irresponsible lifestyle and cause people to discount what you have to say. Anything extreme in your appearance, items known as artifacts, may communicate the need for attention. Artifacts include items such as jewelry, eyeglasses, and even the car you drive. Piercings, while more common today than in the past, still connote an element of rebellion to many people. Both men and women notice expensive rings, necklaces, and other forms of jewelry. And some may judge a person who drives an old, beat-up car as less successful and talented than an individual in the same profession driving an upscale vehicle. The same person may get a different response at work or outside of work when dressed smartly as opposed to when they are wearing torn jeans.
The assumptions we make about people based on their appearance may not be true, and the longer you are around a person, the less appearance is likely to bias what they have to say. There is no sage advice we can offer about appearance accept to recognize that people take it into account when evaluating what you have to say. While other parts of the message may overcome any appearance drawbacks, it is to your advantage to evaluate your appearance and ensure that it is consistent with the messages you are trying to send.
In summary, a variety of factors can disrupt communication between individuals of equal and unequal rank in organizations. Insightful leaders are aware of these potential barriers and take steps to overcome them. The concept of “situation sensitivity” applies to effective com- munication. Both the sender and receiver have the responsibility of working to ensure they’ve transmitted clear messages and processed them correctly.
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Section 5.4 Communicating Effectively
5.4 Communicating Effectively
The sender and receiver both have important duties when carrying on a conversation. Fulfill- ing your end of the conversation can help you to avoid problems associated with miscommu- nication, especially those that lead to unnecessary conflicts. In Table 5.10, we provide a list of the duties for the two persons engaged in a conversation.
Table 5.10: Creating quality interpersonal communication
Senders Receivers
Awareness of barriers Active listening
Empathy Seek clarification of the message
Careful attention to nonverbal cues Listen more than you talk
Confirmation of the message
Create a climate for open dialogue
Senders
As a leader and sender, you should be aware of all types of barriers. Effective leaders are espe- cially gifted at understanding what might prevent a message from arriving as they intended. They exhibit empathy and understanding of the audience by “walking a mile in their shoes.” Quality communicators make sure what they say verbally matches with their body language, including posture, eye contact, physical distance from the other person, and other nonverbal messages. Effective leaders make sure messages arrive as they intend. They confirm by asking simple questions, such as, “Do you understand?”
Create a Climate for Open Dialogue Successful leaders create a climate for open dialogue. Some people can talk with anyone about almost anything. This is because of their skills in creating a climate for open dialogue. The
Self-Reflection Questions
1. Instead of a back-and-forth two-way street, some experts compare individual com- munication to a “dance” in which the two partners (sender and receiver) interact and work together, unless a barrier gets in the way. Which model do you think best explains interpersonal communication? Why?
2. Which of the barriers to interpersonal communication do you believe most often disrupt messages? Defend your choice.
3. As a leader, which of the barriers to interpersonal communication do you believe become the most problematic when dealing with persons of lower rank in the orga- nization? Why? Which are the biggest problems when communicating with people outside of the organization? Explain your answer.
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Section 5.4 Communicating Effectively
positive and caring attitude in which they approach conversations invites open dialogue. The words they use and responses they make encourage open, two-way communication. They actively show an interest in what others have to say and value the ideas of others. When they disagree or critique the ideas of others, they do so by attacking problems and not peo- ple. Creating open dialogue is an important skill for leaders to develop. It keeps leaders and their people well informed and on the same playbook, builds trusts and confidence between leaders and employees, alleviates tension and stress from not knowing what is going on or not feeling free to be candid without fear of retribution, and basically makes an organization more competitive (Daft, 2015).
Leaders should always be aware of barriers to open dialogue that they may be creating. A negative attitude can cause people to avoid talking with you, as the conversation is likely to be cynical and disagreeable and filled with grumbling and complaining. Doing most of the talking or doing little to show an interest in what others have to say will result in one-way communication. Being critical, dogmatic, or strongly opinionated will either close down com- munication or cause undesirable responses. Overreacting, being contentious, and having a reputation for being quick tempered or temperamental causes people to limit what they say in order to avoid the possibility of a flare up.
Receivers
Remember that a sender or speaker makes up only half of the formula. All members of an organization appreciate effective receivers who are well versed in the following active listen- ing skills:
• Listen for content: Try to hear exactly the content of the message. • Listen for feelings: Find out how the source feels about the message. • Respond to feelings: Let them know their feelings are recognized. • Note cues: Be sensitive to verbal and nonverbal messages (Horowitz, 2012).
You can take an entire course in college regarding effective listening. Mastering the basics, however, is a relatively straightforward process.
Listen More Than You Talk Listening is a vital part of a leader’s job (Bernstein, 2013). Leaders who are poor listeners can quickly get out of touch with the realities they need to know to make good decisions. People are willing to share their thoughts and ideas if leaders are interested in listening to what they have to say. Unfortunately, a recent study found that about 67% of employees felt that their opinions were either unwelcome or not valued (Brotherton, 2012).
Listening is far more involved than remaining silent as someone else speaks. It involves actu- ally caring about what people have to say, drawing others out, asking for information, paying close attention to what people say, asking clarifying questions, and making people feel valued for sharing their thoughts. Being a good listener means that leaders need to get out of their offices and make a concerted effort to listen to people and to organize activities where people can share their ideas and provide helpful feedback.
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Section 5.4 Communicating Effectively
Any number of things might create barriers to good listening. Poor listeners make little effort to process what others have to say and often either dominate conversations or show so lit- tle interest in conversing that communication stops. Interrupting and talking over people is demeaning and limits how much people communicate what they actually intended to say. It is also not uncommon for people to be thinking of what they plan to say while others are talking and to be selectively listening to others are saying.
Receivers who work well with others seek clarification when a message is unclear. It is better to say, “I don’t understand” than to simply guess at a sender’s meaning. This will be especially important when carrying out orders or following a supervisor’s directions.
Julia A. Stewart: A Cornerstone of Communication
We all love a “rags to riches” story. Sometimes they are even true. One such story involves Julia A. Stewart, CEO of IHOP (International House of Pancakes). Her career path began at an IHOP restaurant at the age of 16. She moved to Applebee’s for a time. After being passed over for a CEO position at Applebee’s that many expected her to receive, Stewart returned to IHOP.
Communication became the hallmark of Stewart’s leadership style. She would only hire executives over meals in various units. “I want to see your ability to interact with a server,” she said. “You wouldn’t be successful with us unless you were able to interact with a server.” Part of her observation of that interaction included an analysis of eye contact and expressions of gratitude to the server.
Stewart also finds innovative ways to routinely communicate with employees. One of her standard approaches is to leave notes at the work stations of employees at the end of the day, expressing thanks for good work. She often follows these messages with voicemails expressing additional appreciation.
Following substantial success with IHOP, the company under Stewart’s direction became DineEquity and eventually acquired the Applebee’s chain, a move she called “Make the minnow swallow the whale.” At the time, IHOP was a much smaller organization than Applebee’s. This bold move was not driven by vengeance. “I would never borrow $2.13 for ego,” Stewart said. Using the same communication model as at IHOP, she directed a major overhaul of the Applebee’s organization, leading to a major turnaround in the chain’s achievements. Clearly communications skills are at the cornerstone of her highly successful career as a leader.
Bob Carey/LA Times/Getty Images
Julia Stewart, chief executive officer of IHOP, greets a busboy at an IHOP in Pasadena.
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Section 5.4 Communicating Effectively
Senders and Receivers: Constructive Feedback in Conversations
Successful interpersonal communication involves a shared commitment by two people. It is easy to multitask while on the phone, avoid eye contact and remain disinterested while speaking with someone of lower rank, or send messages in other ways that communicate that the person and his or her message are not important. Quality leaders avoid making those kinds of mistakes. If you’ve ever seen someone who makes everyone around him or her “feel” important, you have been watching an effective communicator.
Leaders spend a great deal of time communicating. Consequently, committing to becoming proficient in this critical skill is beneficial. One way to practice effective communication skills is to be aware of keys to successful communication and what works and does not work for each of the keys.
Constructive feedback given in a helpful way can lift spirits and encourage people to learn and improve. It is also crucial to achieving personal and organizational goals because constructive feedback provides an achievable framework for doing just that. Constructive feedback pro- vides specific, targeted, measurable goals that people can see and aspire to achieve. Knowing how to seek and receive feedback is a must for anyone who is committed to functioning at their best.
Leaders may be reluctant to give feedback for many reasons. They may realize that they lack skills in this important area and don’t know how to approach giving feedback (“McKinsey & Company,” 2001). They may also be afraid of hurting a person’s feelings or having the process quickly degenerate and possibly damage or end a relationship. However, withholding help- ful feedback can keep people from valuable information they need to have to improve and to be more successful in their jobs and in life. One author said that withholding feedback from a problem employee “achieves kindness in the short term but heartlessness in the long run, dooming the problem employee to non-improvement” (Sandberg, 2008).
The major key to giving feedback, whether it is positive or negative, is to present the feedback in a respectful, truthful, and constructive way. Respectful means that it is done with genu- ine concern for the receiver and in a manner that maintains the dignity of the other person. Truthful means that the feedback is straightforward and accurate. Constructive means that the feedback is designed to help and not cause harm. If you are willing to do this, you have done your part regardless of how a person responds.
Using feedback to hurt, humiliate, blame, and guilt trip people or to push their hot buttons is not helpful and can be harmful. Research on approaching people in a critical and judgmental way shows that doing so is likely to cause people to become defensive and justify their behav- ior, blame someone or something else, tune out the criticism, or feel guilty and demoralized (Shellenbarger, 2012). Table 5.11 offers considerations for giving constructive feedback.
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Section 5.4 Communicating Effectively
In general, quality leaders offer constructive feedback. This includes telling others how they honestly feel about something they said or did. They provide feedback with real feeling based on trust and make the feedback specific and not general. They give the feedback when the receiver is ready to receive it. Finally, they offer the feedback in small doses; never give more than the receiver can handle.
Receiving Feedback When receiving feedback, people may have difficulty receiving positive feedback or in dealing with negative comments. They may also discount feedback because of a distrust of the person giving the feedback. The process itself can be anxiety producing and always has the potential for one or both of the persons involved to get upset or angry, or to overreact.
The major goal when receiving feedback is to receive it graciously, to learn as much as you can from it, and to objectively evaluate what you’ve heard. Receiving feedback graciously means that you express gratitude for positive feedback and respond diplomatically to negative
Table 5.11: Providing feedback
Prepare. When necessary, especially with constructive criticism or difficult information, prepare by ensur- ing that the information you present is accurate, that you think through how to present the information, and that you are committed to handling the feedback respectfully.
Make it timely. Positive feedback is welcomed almost any time but when connected to specific actions should be as close to the action as possible. Be sensitive to the needs and readiness of a person when presenting difficult feedback unless the situation demands immediate feedback.
Share in a respectful, truthful, helpful way. Treating people with respect, being straightforward and truth- ful in a caring way, and making every effort to use feedback with good intentions to help people improve is the major key to effective feedback. When you do this, you significantly raise the probability of a successful experience.
Build on strengths and agree on how to overcome weaknesses. When your intent is clearly to use feedback to reinforce and develop strengths and to help people improve and overcome weaknesses, most feedback will be well received.
Attack problems and not people. Stick to the issues and avoid blaming, belittling, guilt tripping, questioning people’s motives, and treating people in a demeaning way. Doing so is self-defeating.
Be specific and avoid generalizations. Try to be as specific as possible and avoid generalizations that can be confusing and misleading and are often not true. Using terms like “always” and “never” rarely results in accu- rate statements and undermines the credibility of the person giving the feedback.
Listen. Don’t just talk. Create an opportunity for open, two-way communications and avoid interrupting and talking over people. You may be seeing things from your perspective and from inaccurate information. It may change your perspective.
Acknowledge when you are sharing opinions. Implying factual information when you are sharing a personal perception or opinion can be misleading. Share things accurately without embellishment or unfounded assumptions and let people know if what you are sharing is your personal opinion.
Check perceptions of what the receiver is hearing. What people are actually hearing may be different from what you intended.
Be wise in your counsel. If you are giving counsel or advice, make sure that it is wise and responsible and whenever possible help people reach their own conclusions and decisions.
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Section 5.4 Communicating Effectively
feedback. Learning as much as you can from the feedback involves asking for clarifying and helpful information. Objectively evaluating what you’ve heard occurs both during and after the feedback. Just because someone says something, this not make it true or helpful.
It is important to be objective enough to accept helpful information and to be wise enough to evaluate information for validity and usefulness. What doesn’t work is getting angry, defen- sive, and upset; overreacting; denying or justifying behaviors that you should be taking responsibility for; and attacking and pointing out the faults of the person giving the feedback. Table 5.12 provides guidelines for receiving feedback.
Table 5.12: Receiving feedback
Prepare. Determine to handle yourself in a mature and responsible way, and in cases where you know you are to receive feedback, prepare yourself with the appropriate information and attitude.
Commit to receiving feedback graciously. Be gracious in how you receive positive or negative feedback. Kindly accept and don’t explain away helpful positive feedback. Even if the feedback is given ineffectively or you determine that what the sender says is not accurate or useful, thank him or her for the feedback and try to avoid a degenerating discussion.
Learn as much as you can. Ask helpful questions, accept responsibility for your behavior and for doing what is right, and learn as much as you can from feedback.
Objectively evaluate the feedback. Try to be as objective as possible without rationalizing or justifying, be careful not to assume that just because something is said that it is true, and own responsibility for your behavior and for doing what is right.
Consider the source of the data. Know whom to listen to and whom to be cautious about listening to. Some people have our best interests in mind and provide wise and helpful feedback, and some may not have our best interests in mind and tend to provide foolish and potentially harmful feedback.
Avoid doing things that will close down or discourage feedback. Getting angry, overreacting, being contentious, being silent and not responding, and saying things you shouldn’t will only make matters worse and will close down or escalate the dialogue and will discourage future feedback.
In disagreeing or presenting other information, do so tactfully. It takes good judgment to decide what to respond to. However, whatever you respond to, do so in a helpful and tactful way.
Try to understand what is being said. Try to listen to the overall intent of what is being said rather than pick- ing at details and to assure that you are hearing things accurately, it may be helpful to check to see if you are hearing what was intended.
Self-Reflection Questions
1. Does having a “closed mind” cause more problems for a leader as a sender or a leader as a receiver? Why is this the case?
2. Using the materials from this section, explain how being late to a meeting with another individual or a group creates a barrier to communication, and compare that to the message sent by arriving on time or early.
3. What terms can you use to show that you disagree with someone without creating additional tension or conflict?
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Chapter Summary
Chapter Summary
The Importance of People Skills This chapter examines the relationships between people skills and effective communication. The goal is to assist you in developing your personal inventory of leadership abilities. In his classic study, Henry Mintzberg identified three primary roles played by top-level managers:
• interpersonal;
• informational; and
• decision making.
These roles interact as the leader directs the activities of his or her unit.
Developing People Skills People skills begin with acting in a civil manner and valuing relationships with others. Civil- ity means treating people with value and respect and having a positive social environment. Conditional respect means that a person treats people with respect as long as they treat him or her that way. Unconditional respect means that an individual does his or her best to treat people with respect even when not being treated in the same way. Valuing is the process of maintaining or enhancing the value of another person. When people feel valued, it increases the probability of quality communication, improved problem solving, cooperation, and rap- port with others. The three styles include a problem-solver style, resister style, and hard- core resister style. The problem-solver style connects to effective leadership; the hardcore resister is the most ineffective.
The Communication Process and Barriers to Effective Communication A standard model of communication includes a sender, encoding, transmission, decoding, the receiver(s), and feedback. Noise, or the barriers to communication, can disrupt the effec- tive delivery and receipt of messages. Common barriers include:
• individual differences such as age, gender, status, and other interpersonal variables;
• situational factors including the setting; and
• transmission problems including nonverbal contradictions of verbal messages.
Communicating Effectively To overcome these issues, the sender and receiver have individual and joint responsibilities to improve the quality of communication, especially in the area of giving and receiving feed- back. Leadership is interaction. Communication skills constitute a vital part of developing and maintaining meaningful relationships with persons of every rank in the organization.
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Leadership Applications and Tools
Key Terms civility Treating people with value and respect and having a positive social environment.
communication The imparting or exchange of information and meaning between indi- viduals or groups; occurs through words, body language, written forms, electronic forms, visual forms, and many other mediums.
conditional respect Respect that occurs when a person treats people with respect as long as they treat him or her that way.
devaluing The process of lowering the value of another person.
incivility The extent to which employees experience disrespectful, rude, or conde- scending behavior from supervisors or coworkers.
kinesic cues Nonverbal messages such as crossing arms, leaning forward or away, and smiling.
unconditional respect Respect that occurs when an individual does his or her best to treat people with respect even when not being treated in the same way.
valuing The process of maintaining or enhancing the value of another person.
Leadership Applications and Tools
Leadership Exercises
1. Relate terms civility/incivility, respect/disrespect, and valuing/devaluing to the follow- ing leadership theories and ideas from the previous chapters.
• emotional intelligence • Theory X and Theory Y • servant leadership • principle-centered leadership • vertical dyad linkages and leader-member exchange • transformational leadership
2. Paralanguage refers to how something is said rather than what is said in a message. Key elements include tone, phrasing, pacing, pitch, and intensity. Paralanguage changes messages from surprised to sarcastic, such as, “Oh, really?” Pacing indicates when a person wishes to speak or to stop speaking. Paralanguage conveys urgency, especially through pitch. As a speaker in a conversation, awareness of how you are delivering a message plays an important role. The wrong paralanguage disputes the words that you say.
Explain how the use of paralanguage can either build or disrupt your ability to lead and communicate effectively.
3. Marvin has been a rapid-riser in his organization. Nearly everyone comments on his affability, his friendly attitude, and his willingness to listen. At the same time, Susan has been frustrated. At various meetings with her peers, Marvin has suggested that
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Leadership Applications and Tools
sometimes an employee needs to “take one for the team,” or that a situation resembles a “fourth and thirty.” At one point, Marvin was trying to give advice to Susan and said, “Just take the easy way out. Stroke it up the middle, you know, hit the open man on the give-and-go.” She did not know whether to be offended.
• What should Susan explain to Marvin? • Identify the leadership skill Marvin should seek to improve.
4. Information richness is the potential information-carrying capacity of a communica- tion channel. At one extreme, rich communication means the channel provides oppor- tunities for feedback, a full range of visual and audio communication, and it presents the opportunity to personalize a message. At the other extreme, a lean channel offers no venue for feedback, is impersonal, and only a limited amount of information can be transmitted. As a leader of a major division of an organization, you have been asked to evaluate the information richness of a variety of new channels. How would you evalu- ate the following channels—as lean, moderate, or rich? Defend your choice for each.
• text messages • Facebook posts • streaming video presenting a report • interactive video (video conference) • teleconference (voice only)
5. You hear a rumor that one of your employees is having an affair with a top-level official in the company. The employee is close friends with your sister. As a result, you know the rumor is completely false. How should you deal with this issue, as it is hurting the employee and morale within your department?
Applications and Tools
Problem-Solving Style Profile This profile will enable you to evaluate your problem-solving style at work and in your personal life. It will also help you to examine how and when you use the various styles and what you would be willing to do to improve your problem-solving style.
Instruction: Estimate the percentage of your behavior in your work life and personal life that falls into each category.
Style Work Life Personal Life
Problem solver % %
Resister % %
Hardcore resister % %
Total 100% 100%
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Leadership Applications and Tools
Examples of how and when you use your problem-solving style:
Examples of how and when you use your resister style:
Examples of how and when you use your hardcore resister style:
What you would be willing to do to improve your problem solving style:
Copyright © D.D. Warrick
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war82476_05_c05_133-170.indd 170 3/3/16 11:33 AM